Thursday, January 21, 2016

January Goals - So Far

Hi, remember me, the girl who decided on monthly goals? 
Check in time... 

January Goals:
- Unplug during social times 
I gotta say that this has been a lot easier without Facebook on my phone. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I've made a bigger effort to be present with friends and family.. I also get annoyed at people on their phones now. 

- Workout at least 2-3 days a week
Can I skip this one?! I went to the gym maybe once.. it's the 21st and I can say that the biggest reason I haven't been working out is that I have an inconsistent schedule and an ovary that's been being a jerk. Aside from that, I have made healthier choices by trying to cut down on caffeine. 

- Read 30 days of my Savor devotional 
Shauna Niequist, you are an amazing lady! I can't tell you how thankful I am that I broke down and bought this devotional! I am spending some time with Jesus before I get ready for work, it's been amazing for me and my relationship with God. 

- Accomplish two goals I've set for photography
Done, son. I got logos, pricing, website AND I almost didn't work the entire month. I can't turn down a cute library themed engagement session. 

- Wake up early everyday 
I wake up at 06:35 everyday, I plan to wakeup at 6 next month and then eventually go to 5/515. I don't want to wake up much earlier than that because I'm sometimes not getting to bed till 10/1130 at night. Thankfully I'm not too hard on myself with this goal, things happen and with an inconsistent schedule (hopefully will be changing soon) it's been a lot harder than I thought. 

So here it is, I have 10 more days to keep at this and February is gonna bring some FUN stuff so stay tuned! 

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Wanderlust, you tricky siren.

It's winter, like the official winter where you can't go outside because in 5 minutes you can get windburn/frostbite and that sucks. All the while I'm looking at Instagrams of my friends in the west. Ocean, trees and mountains and all I feel is homesick. My heart hurts and I miss the smell of the rain mixed with the salt air, the smell of trees in the desert and how wonderful the sun looks breeching over a mountain scene. 

I love my life and my job here, I have found in North Dakota the home I'd been searching for since I became an adult.. but that doesn't stop me from missing the places I knew. It makes me crave a change and look at unemployment rates in other states, to look at Eric and suggest we move. But then we talk and it's clear we want our own land, our own piece of heaven and to create a life here. Maybe not Grand Forks, but in North Dakota, and a home filled with the pitter patter of feet, either dogs or children. I'd like to approach the subject of chickens and rabbits someday. 

That's why wanderlust is a tricky siren... 
She calls to me, saying to come back and live in the wonderful northwest again.. she calls me to her rocks, where I will surely be broken. The west, while wonderful, holds some of the worst memories of my life. I spent a good amount of my time there trying to mend my brokenness with alcohol, dancing and late night trips to Taco Bell with friends saying "I'll never do that again" till I did the next week. 
My sin was big there, overwhelming. There was many a Sunday you could see the night before in my eyes and that I broke down crying because I desperately needed Jesus, but clung to the world. I miss the memories and the wilderness, the only church I ever called home and a few select humans that made my life better. So while I still miss my northwest home, I will cling to the promises of a better day, just around the bend and suffer through my wanderlust longings for another winter.. until spring comes and I can see the vast prairie come back to life. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

There'll be days like this

Sometimes you have an off day, sometimes it doesn't hit you until it's way past your bedtime and you are just sitting thinking "WHY?!" and it dawns on you that there are some things that have been weighing on your mind, heart and shoulders that just kinda suck. 

Fears that, while possibly irrational, don't just go away. Things that make you just want to yell at the top of your lungs at people who need to "one up" your concerns and issues and say no one asked you, not one person so shut it kaythx. 

Sometimes your amazing man says the right thing, reminds you that your life isn't wasted and that your fears are completely valid. That it's totally okay to cry and that he knows you've been keeping these things inside... you cry and you are reminded that God created the perfect man for you. 

Sometimes you just have days like this and that's completely okay, because good things come from struggles. 

Monday, January 11, 2016

Word Of The Year

I always feel late to the party with this trend, but I also feel like waiting, praying and being totally conscious of what I need in life is pretty important and not to rush things - yeah, I'm still okay with rushing some things, like the decision to eat tacos for dinner. 

Last year my word was Trust.
Trust God, people, life and all of the experiences I was having and to just let it go and trust that it would be okay. I'm not saying that it was all hunky dory, last year was full of challenges that I hadn't experienced and some that I'd been waiting too long to fix. What I did last year by trusting helped me realize that I don't always need to fear the future or that somethings going to go wrong. That goes against every fiber of my being. Things go wrong, life can be too good to be true and it can all come crashing down, but I was able to trust that God had me.. that Eric wasn't going to up and change his mind about me and that even the crap I was wading through was worth it.

This year started with me signing off of Facebook and just saying "nope" to constantly being connected. It has thrown a few wrenches in my way, did you know how many people rely on fb to communicate? It's kind of gross. With all of that I really started thinking about signing off completely, but rather than doing that, I'm setting my phone aside. I'm spending my phone time during nap time, breaks and after Eric has gone to work -I struggle with this one.

So is my word unplug. Not in a going off the grid way, at least not yet, but in the way that I need and want to spend more time with my family, God and in the quiet. I keep looking at kids constantly connected and I can remember when that wasn't possible.. when you hung out, under a tree, reading books or playing games. So that's what I'm gonna try and do, I'll unplug for the night and for the weekend and I'll come back with memories that don't include massive updates on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook.. though I might have some of those this year.

What are your words and how do you plan to put them into action? 

Friday, January 8, 2016

January Goals

Anyone else love setting goals? I'm a fan of setting the simplest goals in the world, forgetting, remembering and then slightly accomplishing them. Instead of setting resolutions for the entire year, I decided small and attainable goals for every month are what's up and then I saw some other bloggers writing them down in a public space and thought "well that looks like fun" and here I am.

January Goals:
- Unplug during social times 
- Workout at least 2-3 days a week
- Read 30 days of my Savor devotional 
- Accomplish two goals I've set for photography
- Wake up early everyday

Small goals, real things that I can do to help myself lead a better life. I only get so many years and I've spent too much of it on the sidelines waiting for things to happen, so here's to January being filled with fun, grace, growing and me becoming an even bigger morning person. 

Monday, January 4, 2016

Facebook Break

My name is Acacia and I signed out of Facebook and deleted it from my phone and I would like to now explain why and how it feels. 

Either you live under rock or you are completely separated from the world to not know that our world is in constant turmoil. From racism to presidential elections and all of the terrorist and terrible acts in between.. one can't help but feel anxious. We are constantly being updated on the bad things and then there's the comparison factor. 
Oh I see so and so's husband bought her a full frame camera, bag AND 45 carat diamond earrings. Great, my life doesn't compare to that. 
I see how great it all is on Facebook, Instagram and inside blogs and I can't help but want to run away crying because I feel inadequate to them. I mean, if you get gifted a freaking brand new Lexus and are complaining about it, I want to punch you. That's not very Christian of me, but it's the truth. But it really started on Christmas as I watched the soon-to-be niece and nephew open their modest amounts of gifts and then pulled up on Facebook to just see a sickening amount of gluttony. 
Your kids do not need 10+ "big" gifts, they need a couple books, a toy and maybe some clothing and a giant box, lets be real. Between that and the constant negativity, I needed to get away. 

So I did. 

And guess what? 
I don't have any shakes, my mind has been less concerned with others and more connected to what's going on right in front of me. 

Instead of spending my lunch breaks doing mindless surfing on the internet I've actually been getting things done! I managed to write out that business revamp I'd had sitting on my desk for the last 2.5 weeks and start getting that going, and I spend dinners out with Eric and not on my phone. 

I also haven't posted to Instagram as much, twitter is my friend again -I'd been ignoring it- and yet I'm not fully consumed in them like I was with Facebook. I'm not refreshing and refreshing to see what's new and what terrible Buzz feed video I can watch. I forgot they existed for a minute. 

I will sign back in around Feb and see how it goes, mainly because I have a re-launch for my photography pricing so I kinda need it. So stay tuned to that, but don't expect me to be re-downloading it to my phone.