times I hate being involved with the military

When I was younger I never pictured my life semi revolving around a man and his job, or following someone to the ends of the Earth. I never thought one day I'd cry by the grave of a soldier who held me in their arms at one point.. I never thought this would happen. I was also a child, and war was a distant thing, something that happened to our parents. 

Obviously 9/11 changed that. 

I've been blessed in this world to know many fine soldiers and their families, airmen, sailors and marines. I've also had to say goodbye to a select few.. and this last Tuesday someone who I was so glad to get to know over the last year had to say goodbye to her loved one. 

SPC Trevor Pinnick died fighting the "good fight" in Afghanistan on June 12, 2012. 

He leaves behind a beautiful wife and daughter, who at two, is really lucky to not know what's happening.. but has to deal with not having her amazing father around. 

Pre-deployment portraits I took in 2011

I didn't know at the time taking the picture above, that would be the  one that stays with her forever.. I didn't know saying things like "Smile, Martha needs some thing to look at when you're away" would turn into the picture she will cling to for the rest of her life.
I wish more than anything that I could take this away, more than anything this hadn't happened and we could all just continue on with our lives.. that in two months he'd come home.. he'd embrace his family at a ceremony. Rather than be laid down with his fallen brothers.. rather than have a wife and daughter miss him forever.

can someone remind me what these sacrifices really mean, because right now I feel like something is shattered and not a damn person cares.. not a normal person. Not someone who sleeps next to their loved one every single night where is his parade for sacrificing watching his little girl grow up?

I love you guys, and I hope that someday you can know, Mel, that your father was so much more than a hero... he's the best man in the world for doing what he did and you should know he loves you more than anything. From heaven he's looking down at such a lovely little girl saying "that's my girl" know he's there with every milestone and setback.
Martha, I can only pray that the pain you're feeling will someday subside and you find as much joy in what you had with him as possible. I love you, you're one of the greatest women I've ever met.. you are stronger than anyone I know.
I hope God can wrap them in his arms and help them through all of this..
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