Over the last couple Sunday's we've been studying and have learned about sharing your faith, building bridges and starting where people are as far as witnessing to people..
The only real reason this laid on my heart as much as it did was because of a conversation I had with a lovely lady D about God, life, children and marriage. Now I'm not married, I don't have kids and my relationships have a tendency to suck really bad.. but I do know about life, suffering and just plain terrible things.. don't we all?
D and I were walking in Hobby Lobby (uh that store is huge and I love it!) and she was saying they were talking about having kids.. but she's scared of what it would do to their relationship. Right then I wanted to be like "GOD! SEEK HIM HE WILL HELP!" but I quieted the brash Acacia and decided to just continue listening. She went on about how in her relationship things weren't perfect, family issues, the normal things that we would fear before starting a family... I asked the usual
"how does he feel?"
"are you emotionally ready?"
she answered pretty typically... and about half way through the stationary I finally asked:
"Do you have a good relationship with God?"
and what made my heart sink was the no that came after. I'm not here to judge, but I could feel myself being called to just testify to her, to be the one to bring the Good News about Him.. but again, I just listened.. and it made me sad because here is this beautiful woman, this amazing relationship and a man who -in her words- "wants to have a relationship with God, but that's all him, not me" and I was kinda just... needing to hear why.. and when she told me.. I understood.
"I just don't see how God could make so much hurt, so much loss, its useless and I decided He was useless"
And I spoke... the ENEMY is who brings this pain, God didn't make your child sick, your best friend die -just examples- your dad beat you, drink, become a terrible person... God doesn't want that for you, He gave His SON for you! -I said it a little less enthusiastic- in fact what I said was this:
"I've been there, I grew up knowing a lot of hurt and pain.. a lot of loss and questioning God. Why did He do this, what's the point?! But then my pastor said what has stuck with me: GOD DIDNT DO THAT, THE ENEMY OF OUR SOULS DID!"
Now I don't know if it struck a chord, I don't know if she'll come back to Christ.. but I do know that this kind of sat on me for the last week and it needed to be written. In my home, I am the one close to Christ, I am fully aware of the right we have to question and learn and I encourage it!! But I do not want my friends thinking that God is hurting them when all He wants is to bring them in and protect them.. to give them the tools to protect themselves. I hope this wasn't too long.. sorry for the run-on sentences and everything ;)