Ceremony

Short, sweet and to the point. I basically wrote our the entire ceremony script from what our officiant said to the words we spoke when exchanging rings -thank you Pinterest! The nice part about our ceremony is that while I was standing in front of 30-ish people, it really felt like it was just us and that's a wonderful feeling. 

To watch our ceremony, go here. 

We had the ability to stream our wedding for people who weren't able to make it to the shindig. You'll notice none of my family was there, except my nanny family and best friend, which is totes okay because I don't think my family from AZ would've been able to stand the weather. 

Eric's grandma was able to attend which were very thankful for. 

I had to apologize since my vows were a lot longer. 

Either I was mid way through what she said, or telling him he was stuck with me forever. 

A moment in prayer, while we aren't super prayerful - working on it - this means a lot to me. 

Photography: Aysha Nicole Photography

i see you

You, the girl who puts on a tough exterior that says "I'm going to do what I want, damned be the consequences". The one who goes out drinking because having fun sober is for the birds, and I also see the one who wakes up next to a stranger and has very little to no recollection of what actually happened the night before. 

I see that hopeful look on your face when he walks in the room, he talks about his accomplishments, his life, his dreams.. but barely remembers your name. You crawl into bed with him, hoping that this will be it.. this is the time that changes everything and he'll rescue you from the mundane that is your life.. but the next night he's talking to someone else, probably to ten other girls.. and I see that pain in your heart. 

You drink that away and throw inhibitions to the wind.. you wake up again, with someone you barely know. Your family notices, your friends notice, but you don't care.. you're young and this is what being young is all about. You sit in your room on a rainy day and think about how you got where you are and why you feel so alone. You don't realize that all of those lustful nights were you giving away small pieces of yourself and you thought it was no strings attached. 

I see you, because I've been you. 

I want you to know that you aren't alone and that this season passes, but leaves you scarred and feeling like the pieces will never fit back together. Its a really crappy time in your life and you'll be going through the motions until one day it hits you; I'm not in this alone. 

It will hit you randomly, but hard, and you'll slowly stop trying to rely on yourself and try to trust in God, but you're stubborn. You'll relapse and try and do it on your own again and at first it'll feel great, but then you'll feel weary and your heart will be heavy and when you're there He'll pick you up. 

This will go on for a long time, in fact it'll go on until you finally just say the words out loud; 

God, I cannot do this on my own. I need You.  

And that will be the moment you start healing and your life really does turn around. Your scars start to fade and the pieces are slowly sewn together. You finally realize that your life isn't about what you did, but what you'll do for Him and in His name.  

Getting Ready

So I have a LOT of pictures to share from the wedding and just too many to be put into one post, so I'll start with getting ready. The morning of our wedding I was up and at-em by 730/8am to pick up my bouquet, get some tea and go get ready. I spent this time reflecting and enjoying the fact that in a few hours I'd be saying my vows in front of our family and friends.. I was giddy, calm and just really wanted it to be wedding time.  Eric got ready at our friends hotel and enjoyed a fairly relaxing morning. I mean, just look at these two hanging out, which is exactly what I was doing.. except I was watching Kimmy Schmidt. 

LB came and brought me flowers, all of Eric's family came to see me before Eric got a first look. It was truly special to have a moment with them! 

Dad's "first look" which was over FaceTime and the bees knees! My dad thought when I said "tutu" that I meant a short tutu, I aint crazy! 

This wonderful book that I got from Kristin Schumcker's shop was what I put my vows in. 

Last detail, my Henry's medal. Henry was my moms dad, he carried this medal through WWII, Korea and Vietnam. It's our good luck charm and was my something old/borrowed. 

Photography: Aysha Nicole Photography

Next will be the first look/bride + groom pictures! 

-Acacia 

Valentines Day Recap

Happy Valentines Day! 

I hope that everyone had a wonderful day celebrating friends and family alike, because we certainly did! This weekend wasn't just anticipated as our first official holiday (Super Bowl doesn't count) as Mr. + Mrs. but also because Deadpool was released and Eric is a huge fan. I mean, I had no idea who Deadpool was until we started dating and I got a short lesson on the character. 

He's crazy, hilarious and likes chimichangas.. I was in. So part of my gift to my husband was tickets to see Deadpool and some pretty sweet socks, because those are some of Eric's favorite things. The rest of the weekend we kind of just hung out and had a good time being each others company. We watched a little too much chop-chef and finished NCIS -NOOOOO :(.

On Sunday we did our normal routine of buying groceries and other errands like hanging out with our man child Walrus. We decided to eat at home for Valentines Day dinner, very last minute, and made steak with parmesan cheese asparagus and mashed potatoes. It was perfect and just low-key enough that we were able to recover from the last week of wedding craziness. Now I'm off to a pretty normal week, where I actually work everyday and don't get to lounge around in my PJs for an insane amount of time. Sad Acacia.

Here are some pictures to tide you over to my next post!

Yummy dinner! The awesome glass was purchased locally, but can be found HERE

I forgot to mention that I made some chocolate covered strawberries, yum-town-USA here! 

Till next time.

-Acacia

We Done Tied The Knot!

My initials used to be ARW and now they are ARR which makes me an honorary pirate, which is good because Eric sometimes asks me to call him Captain Blonde Beard and now we can pillage the northern plains being land pirates together. 

But in all seriousness, we did get married and it was about an hour ago (thank you scheduled posts) so you know before a lot of other people know.. how cool is that?! I mean, it's cool because not many friends/family read this thing, and those who do are probably saying my full name and using my old last name and going "DANGIT" so its a win. 

I'm giddy, this was a fun experience and now we can spend our first year as husband and wife doing all the things we were going to miss out on doing when planning a big wedding. It was camping, incase you were curious. 

Thank you for your love, support and all the other gooey lovely things.

*Acacia Reinhardt* 

There'll be days like this

Sometimes you have an off day, sometimes it doesn't hit you until it's way past your bedtime and you are just sitting thinking "WHY?!" and it dawns on you that there are some things that have been weighing on your mind, heart and shoulders that just kinda suck. 

Fears that, while possibly irrational, don't just go away. Things that make you just want to yell at the top of your lungs at people who need to "one up" your concerns and issues and say no one asked you, not one person so shut it kaythx. 

Sometimes your amazing man says the right thing, reminds you that your life isn't wasted and that your fears are completely valid. That it's totally okay to cry and that he knows you've been keeping these things inside... you cry and you are reminded that God created the perfect man for you. 

Sometimes you just have days like this and that's completely okay, because good things come from struggles. 

Long time, no blog!

Hello, hello! 
I should probably start out this blog with an apology, but I won't. See I stopped blogging because my heart wasn't fully invested, my time was being spent camping with Eric and his family and spending boring Friday and Saturday nights watching way to much Super Natural AKA "soups-natch" and I enjoyed not being "here" in the online world. 
A lot has happened since July, can I just say I am sorry for leaving you hanging mid summer, is that cool? Sorry! Eric and I continued on adventuring, from more long weekend camping trips to "running" 5k's, turning 27, moving to a new apartment, starting a new job (me).. oh and we got engaged too! Crazy, right? Like a week before our anniversary we decided to kick our adventuring up a notch by jumping into the world of wedding planning! I'll share more of our engagement story in another post, but for now I just want to let you know that this past year was not only fully needed, but I'll give massive praise hands to God for it. I am incredibly blessed, not only because I have my best friend and now fiancé by my side, but cause He's helped grow my business and my friendships and really everything. 
It was good to step back and spend time with my loved ones and to throw myself into work in a good way. I'm so grateful that in 2013 I chose to move here not knowing the outcome and now I plan to live here for the foreseeable future, get married and maybe have some kids! Now stay tuned for wedding stories, planning and life in general. I hope to share some photography stuff too since that's been getting crazy busy too!
See you all soon!

Half-Year

In 6 months of dating I've found someone who accepts me, pushes me to follow my dreams and cherishes me. 

I've never been with someone who, literally, can't stop looking at me or smiling. Someone who continually tells me how much they love me, I'm beautiful and a treasure to them. 

I waited, rather impatiently, for someone like Eric to come into my life and made a few mistakes along the way.. but goodness I'm so happy I decided to move here. I could've stayed in Washington, but I wouldn't have met the most amazing, intelligent and handsome man in my life. 

Thank you for shushing me and loving me as I am.

Here's to the rest of the year! 

My favorite picture of us :) 

LOVE YOU! 

Trust | My Word

I have such a hard time with blogging. I have so much that I want to share, but this incredible filter on myself because these words are far more searchable than the words said in private. 

This is my space, or at least I want it to be. I want this to be my refuge! The place I come when needing to share things and know that somewhere in the vastness that someone might read my thoughts. I am in no way profound, but I have things that sometimes need crave an audience. I want you all to know me, authentically. 

I need you to. 

A lot of people had started 2015 out with a word that would be their resolution.. it wasn't until March when I started to really look inside myself that I found a word -or ten- that really made me want to really put myself into: Trust. 

My trust has been broken so many times that I legitimately look for the flaws in others, the breaking points. I search them out, and I need to stop. 

I need to trust. 

Trust in God

Trust in Eric

Trust in myself 

Trust in the good of man

Trust in my abilities 

Trust

I see that this lack of trust has led me down a path that is rather lonely.. I feel as though these authentic relationships have disappeared. I've separated further and further from people who I love because I don't trust them. 

So I will make this effort to trust and live, write and be as authentic as I possibly can be. 

Motivation Wednesday

Middle of the week calls for a little motivation + inspiration. I shared a little bit of my favorite verse last week + wanted to do the same this week. I'm starting to go to the gym 3x a week and do a home work out 2x. So rather than finding a quote about sweating more, I found one about restarting again and having someone by your side. 

When I saw this quote I thought about how difficult it can be to be proud of your life and yourself. I feel like a lot of this new year has been getting myself straightened out and re-starting my life. I'm happy with where I've come from, but I want to be better. 

Then I ran across this, it reminds me of Oceans by Hillsong United which was my go-to anthem for last year. Each time I think of this verse I am overwhelmed with a sense of peace. I have a Father who is with me. Always. I have a Savior who loves me, unconditionally and that is an amazing thing to know. 

What kind of motivation do you use to keep on track and start fresh? 

5 Things

Anniversary style!  Eric, I know that you read my blog. How? Cause I tell you, and you follow me on twitter and this is a little post for you, once a month.    1. You make the best spaghetti I've ever had.. and I've had some pretty bomb.com spaghetti. 2. I like how crazy supportive you are and that we can talk openly about things like me going back to school and big life decisions. These might sound like normal things, but the arguments I've had with others in the past... whoa huge difference. 3. Since I've met your family I've discovered that you come from one of the most amazing families in the world. No joke. 4. My dad likes you as does the rest of my family.. this is big, they strongly dislike most people. 5. Thank you for making me live in the moment and smile. I am pretty good at trying to plan my life away and you pretty much settle me down. 
Every month this will happen.. you lucky ducky.

Hello, hello!

So I haven't really written anything since May and it's been quite an eventful few months! I don't know where exactly to start, but I definitely am in a happier place than I was back at the beginning of 2014.. actually I'm happier than I've been in pretty much 5 years! 
So I moved out of A's and moved in with a completely crazy person who was a total jerk on top of their crazy.. not a fun combo. Thankfully I managed to move out and find one of the only one bedroom apartments in Grand Forks!! That's a huge deal, B-T-Dubs.  Here's a little sneak peak:

It's a small place with enough room for me and my horde of things.. which surprisingly doesn't include a couch or table/chairs. It has been brought to my attention that my life choices have been questioned and my boss said he'd like to go into those further... AKA you're 26 and you don't own normal grown up things.. THANKS! 

Moira from McDancing Through Life gave me that picture frame/motto and I love it! 

I do have a pink bathroom which is what kind of sold me on this place, well that and the price. Basically when I was a kid my Great Grandma Dee had this love affair with pink.. no joke, she had strawberry pink carpet -that my sister pooped on once- and white whicker furniture.. Also.. I had a pink bathroom at my dads. I literally typed that up as if I were telling you guys something embarrassing. My Stepmom loves pink and pretty much gave me all things pink.. I used to hate it, now I look back with fondness. Here's this lady, who I thought hated me, giving me things that her mom had given to her.. I'd not had a normal mother-daughter relationship and thought she was just trying to "buy me off".. but that's another story, for another time. 

So here I am.. 26, in my very first apartment by myself and I am happy. It's truly amazing how in a matter of months I went from being completely miserable to happier than I've been in ages. 

Here's to plenty more blog posts and loads of fantastic things happening! 

Testify .. kind of..

I promised to be a little more transparent on here, in general, and that's why I wanted to share this with you all.. When you go to a church, or a small group.. or meet a friend in Christ a lot of them want to know how you came to Christ, when did you go "AHA!" and then you were a Christian. 
I had many moments of "AHA!"  When did I really begin to believe, when did my heart truly change and my life became new... Was it when I laid in bed crying, begging and pleading that my mom be okay. Was it when she told me she didn't want me.. that I was a mistake and should've been aborted.. Was it when I felt Christ moving in my heart, making me stir and reclaim Him in my life... Or has it been my whole life?
I was 15 when mom was in the ICU. 15 when she first told me I should've been aborted.  15 when I felt like I really should be gone.. no one would miss me.  I was 18 when I was baptized. 23 when I really started reading the Bible. 24 when I clung to God after she reconfirmed my existence being a mistake. 25 when I wasn't able to ignore the Holy Spirit in my heart. 
I've been sitting here for almost an hour trying to finish this post.. my moment was when God made me. He set me apart from the beginning and it just took me forever to find Him... I doubted Him, I doubted His creation and love, thought myself a mistake.
I was 15 when I came to Christ, but 25 when I truly understood His love for me..  The biggest thing I want to share is that He never left me.. He never let go and never will. 

on my heart | witnessing in hobby lobby

Over the last couple Sunday's we've been studying and have learned about sharing your faith, building bridges and starting where people are as far as witnessing to people.. 
The only real reason this laid on my heart as much as it did was because of a conversation I had with a lovely lady D about God, life, children and marriage. Now I'm not married, I don't have kids and my relationships have a tendency to suck really bad.. but I do know about life, suffering and just plain terrible things.. don't we all? 
D and I were walking in Hobby Lobby (uh that store is huge and I love it!) and she was saying they were talking about having kids.. but she's scared of what it would do to their relationship. Right then I wanted to be like "GOD! SEEK HIM HE WILL HELP!" but I quieted the brash Acacia and decided to just continue listening. She went on about how in her relationship things weren't perfect, family issues, the normal things that we would fear before starting a family... I asked the usual  "how does he feel?" "are you emotionally ready?" she answered pretty typically... and about half way through the stationary I finally asked: "Do you have a good relationship with God?"  and what made my heart sink was the no that came after. I'm not here to judge, but I could feel myself being called to just testify to her, to be the one to bring the Good News about Him.. but again, I just listened.. and it made me sad because here is this beautiful woman, this amazing relationship and a man who -in her words- "wants to have a relationship with God, but that's all him, not me" and I was kinda just... needing to hear why.. and when she told me.. I understood.  "I just don't see how God could make so much hurt, so much loss, its useless and I decided He was useless"  And I spoke... the ENEMY is who brings this pain, God didn't make your child sick, your best friend die -just examples- your dad beat you, drink, become a terrible person... God doesn't want that for you, He gave His SON for you! -I said it a little less enthusiastic- in fact what I said was this:  "I've been there, I grew up knowing a lot of hurt and pain.. a lot of loss and questioning God. Why did He do this, what's the point?! But then my pastor said what has stuck with me: GOD DIDNT DO THAT, THE ENEMY OF OUR SOULS DID!"  Now I don't know if it struck a chord, I don't know if she'll come back to Christ.. but I do know that this kind of sat on me for the last week and it needed to be written. In my home, I am the one close to Christ, I am fully aware of the right we have to question and learn and I encourage it!! But I do not want my friends thinking that God is hurting them when all He wants is to bring them in and protect them.. to give them the tools to protect themselves. I hope this wasn't too long.. sorry for the run-on sentences and everything ;)  -Acacia