Lent + Me

Lent is a new thing to me, I participated last year + went to the churches lent thing. I still have the nail that represented Christ's wounds for my sin and I carried it around for pretty much the whole year. My little reminder that Christ went before me, when I ran my finger across it + when I laid it on a table + thought about it. When in all my selfish behavior my God still loves me. Last year I gave up fast food + Starbucks, I bragged about participating. I was trying to prove that my life was "amazing" when it wasn't. I was a sinner then + I'm a sinner now. I have learned a lot + yet feel so far from Christ.. 

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This year I will be reading along with She Reads Truth on a daily basis.

I will not give up anything. 

I will increase God in my life and let myself decrease. 

I will devote time to prayer + devotion. 

I will be healthier + a more centered vessel for God to use. 

This is my lent. 

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I hope that you all have started your lent journey's + they are going well. I hope you succeed in whatever you're giving up or trying to increase in your life. If you need prayers or are in my area + want to meet up to talk or anything, please comment below or email me hellolovelyblog(@)gmail(.)com

Testify .. kind of..

I promised to be a little more transparent on here, in general, and that's why I wanted to share this with you all.. When you go to a church, or a small group.. or meet a friend in Christ a lot of them want to know how you came to Christ, when did you go "AHA!" and then you were a Christian. 
I had many moments of "AHA!"  When did I really begin to believe, when did my heart truly change and my life became new... Was it when I laid in bed crying, begging and pleading that my mom be okay. Was it when she told me she didn't want me.. that I was a mistake and should've been aborted.. Was it when I felt Christ moving in my heart, making me stir and reclaim Him in my life... Or has it been my whole life?
I was 15 when mom was in the ICU. 15 when she first told me I should've been aborted.  15 when I felt like I really should be gone.. no one would miss me.  I was 18 when I was baptized. 23 when I really started reading the Bible. 24 when I clung to God after she reconfirmed my existence being a mistake. 25 when I wasn't able to ignore the Holy Spirit in my heart. 
I've been sitting here for almost an hour trying to finish this post.. my moment was when God made me. He set me apart from the beginning and it just took me forever to find Him... I doubted Him, I doubted His creation and love, thought myself a mistake.
I was 15 when I came to Christ, but 25 when I truly understood His love for me..  The biggest thing I want to share is that He never left me.. He never let go and never will. 

2013 ... oh 2013

You did nothing for me, you moved nothing in me and you were nothing extraordinary. 
I brought you in two stepping with another guy, not my (ex) boyfriend. I craved Christ more than ever, because He needed me to cling to him? I moved somewhere terrifying and gave up everything I've known for years.. for what? To be told I'm not enough.

Oregon won, that's the only good thing... but...  You had no promises for me, you never inspired me to do more.. but your end has. I want to do what scares me. I want Christ more. I want to move more and not just physically.  I will step into this year with an extra open heart.  I will be doing 26 things that are new, 26 adventures. I will be preparing my heart for someone who truly deserves me.  I will write more, journal and live.  I will love. I will make decisions about my future and make peace with my past. I will walk further in my forgiveness of others and myself. I will eat healthier, but I will still eat bacon.  I will take more pictures.. of myself and my life.. I will try.  2014 ... YOU WILL BE MY YEAR!!!!

 I am looking forward to this and I hope you will all join me on this adventure.

Also, a special shout out to those who have gone above and beyond in my life. YOU are the biggest reason I have been successful and will continue to be. Thank you, thank you, thank YOU! 

on my heart | witnessing in hobby lobby

Over the last couple Sunday's we've been studying and have learned about sharing your faith, building bridges and starting where people are as far as witnessing to people.. 
The only real reason this laid on my heart as much as it did was because of a conversation I had with a lovely lady D about God, life, children and marriage. Now I'm not married, I don't have kids and my relationships have a tendency to suck really bad.. but I do know about life, suffering and just plain terrible things.. don't we all? 
D and I were walking in Hobby Lobby (uh that store is huge and I love it!) and she was saying they were talking about having kids.. but she's scared of what it would do to their relationship. Right then I wanted to be like "GOD! SEEK HIM HE WILL HELP!" but I quieted the brash Acacia and decided to just continue listening. She went on about how in her relationship things weren't perfect, family issues, the normal things that we would fear before starting a family... I asked the usual  "how does he feel?" "are you emotionally ready?" she answered pretty typically... and about half way through the stationary I finally asked: "Do you have a good relationship with God?"  and what made my heart sink was the no that came after. I'm not here to judge, but I could feel myself being called to just testify to her, to be the one to bring the Good News about Him.. but again, I just listened.. and it made me sad because here is this beautiful woman, this amazing relationship and a man who -in her words- "wants to have a relationship with God, but that's all him, not me" and I was kinda just... needing to hear why.. and when she told me.. I understood.  "I just don't see how God could make so much hurt, so much loss, its useless and I decided He was useless"  And I spoke... the ENEMY is who brings this pain, God didn't make your child sick, your best friend die -just examples- your dad beat you, drink, become a terrible person... God doesn't want that for you, He gave His SON for you! -I said it a little less enthusiastic- in fact what I said was this:  "I've been there, I grew up knowing a lot of hurt and pain.. a lot of loss and questioning God. Why did He do this, what's the point?! But then my pastor said what has stuck with me: GOD DIDNT DO THAT, THE ENEMY OF OUR SOULS DID!"  Now I don't know if it struck a chord, I don't know if she'll come back to Christ.. but I do know that this kind of sat on me for the last week and it needed to be written. In my home, I am the one close to Christ, I am fully aware of the right we have to question and learn and I encourage it!! But I do not want my friends thinking that God is hurting them when all He wants is to bring them in and protect them.. to give them the tools to protect themselves. I hope this wasn't too long.. sorry for the run-on sentences and everything ;)  -Acacia 

Living for Him

So.. lets talk faith, lets get down to the nitty gritty of faith.. 

So I am Christian, this meaning I follow Christ and fully believe He died for me. 

Do I always live up to the sacrifice He made? Nope, not even close.

Do I constantly mess up and have to ask for forgiveness? Yes, all.the.time 

So what exactly is the nitty gritty? 

...coming to terms with the fact that I slipped into my old ways

drinking, cursing, no modesty and yes... being the ultimate sinner, living a life that Christ wouldn't like. 

Boom, there I was the other day (lets say December when Jessica came home) and here is my beautiful friend, giving her all to Christ and letting Him take her sins, take her hurt and just being overjoyed with the fact that HE IS! I start thinking. Contemplating. Praying. 

These prayers led me to Fresh Start.

Fresh Start led me to coming clean about sins, feeling like He was calling me and tugging on my heart.. 

and that led to me wanting to worship HIM to constantly praise HIM and to live my life for HIM. 

weird. 

Why? Because my family looks "down" (it seems that way to me, my family has never really been on board with my faith) on it.

A is almost there, but questions it 

and my past should keep me from Him, but it doesn't. 

So here I am, opening myself up for ridicule, for those who say "she's at it again" that my faith is shallow, like myself, and that I'm doing this for the attention. But I truly feel that I am turning a page, beginning anew and wouldn't be able to do that without His grace & mercy. 

But if anyone would like to help along the way, be my friend or sister in Christ, please ... don't hesitate. I am unable to go to my church, hopefully that changes soon! but I am always up for fellowship and if you're in Washington we should meet up for coffee.. because I need friends with similar faith and that's what I feel is important on this road. 

-Acacia 

Oh my how time flies!

Hello everyone and hellllllloooooo 2013! I'm still here busy as a bee and working on some big things, great changes and a more Christ centered life.

I have been doing this disappearing act with everyone, so don't feel like you're the only ones. This weekend I plan on sitting down to start looking at a blog designer and getting more things written to keep you all entertained. I'm revamping my photography as well, working on getting a better name out there with the work to show it which is why I am offering four free sessions a month (newborns and weddings are not free, sorry!) so if you're in the puget sound/western Washington area please email me ASAP as spots are filling up! I'll post more later on this.
Love y'all
-acacia