26 Adventures.. kinda

So I mentioned earlier about wanting to complete 26 adventures by the time I turn 26 -or more likely by 2015- but then as I sat and thought about the word "adventure" I thought about in a way that really is more like a random bucket list of things to do than adventures... But really, adventures to me, might not be an adventure to you. For me to sit here and think that with a full time job, bills and loads of responsibilities that I can just up and go on a crap ton of literal adventures is bull hunky! But trying to live life in a more purposeful way... and here is how I'd like to do that. 
1. Get out of bad debt. Seriously, you guys have no idea how many things can stack up..  no, wait... yes you can, you can all imagine this!  2. Read the Bible. I've never done that, that's a really big book.. single spaced!  3. Move away from A, this also means leaving Bru... guess whose heart is breaking, but I need to.  4. Go on a mission trip. Of all the things I could think of, this one has been on my heart the longest.. since high school, when mentioned to my parents they kinda just.. laughed.  5. Go back to AZ. I haven't been home since 2009, and I'm scared to.  6. Get my passport. I'm 25, I've never been to another country -Mexico doesn't count- and I need to fix that.  7. Unplug for one day out of the week every week of 2014.. excuse me while I attempt this, I'm bad at it.  8. Figure out my dang life.  9. Start everyday with a thankful heart. That's a challenge and I'm known for my sometimes -a lot of times- negative outlook. 10. Attempt to sincerely make friends, but also attempt to really talk to those who are my friends.. I like to ignore people. 11. Stop being selfish.  12. Stop buying so much freaking coffee. 13. Go to Canada. Manitoba-ins haven't left me with the best taste in my mouth, but I'll try.  14. Buy a new computer... preferably a Mac. 
So I have 14 things.. 14 adventures to me. Things that I honestly.. never really thought/think I can do, but I'd like to try and it'd be nice to figure out the rest of this out, but honestly this month I'll focus on reading the Bible and move from there. If you guys want to help, or think of things that would be worth while.. let me know. Honestly, I think a collaborative session is always a good time -brainstorm with those cool graph things from when we were kids! For now I'm out. I need to get away from the sound of wind and looking at all that snow! 

Where do you go from here?

For four years I spent bettering myself, but supporting someone else at the same time. Investing more and more of myself into them every. single. year and to have it all come "crashing down" in a sense.

It'd been over for awhile, but I'm stubborn and will fight for something I believe in till there's absolutely nothing left to fight for.

To literally have someone tell you they didn't take it as seriously or that you aren't that "smart, beautiful and strong woman" they saw themselves with... wow kinda hit to the core, but I kept trucking, thinking "we just need time" but then... time happened and I was the only one fighting anymore.. so I gave up.
I continued to be told what I'm doing in life is wrong... and how I was raised, and where I'm going and my lack of education and blah blah blah and eventually... I woke up and said
"I'm over you"
Yeah, you know.. it probably stung for someone who thought -and I thought- I would be hung up on for awhile to just be told that I'm over it. You know what it took? A moment of weakness on his part saying "I'm not sure I am right about breaking up" ... giving me that glimmer of hope, but then turning around and saying "the only reason I said that is cause I don't like to see you sad"
I had no idea how fast my heart and brain could shut someone out until that moment... it took about 30 seconds.
So while I may have stood up for him in the past, made excuses for his behavior towards me and the actions he took by belittling me and making me feel like I was inferior.. I wont do that anymore.. and I wont repeat this cycle.. for whatever reason I've found the guys who are oh so incredibly sweet, but then catch you of guard with mean words and actions... I'm over it.
SO where do I go from here?
I go someone awesome.


**that awesome place will probably be oregon** 

I CANT WAIT

So ladies, and maybe gents, guess what... 

give up? 

I'm getting a new blog design!! 

Seriously, Jane over at Pursuit of Poppiness is doing 50% off for the month of October and guess who just had to get in on it? ME! 

She recently sent me the inspiration board.. 

glitter

beach meets ballet

beautiful fonts 

I.AM.EXCITED!

You should all hop over there and check out her amazing deal, get in on this awesome deal! 

-Acacia

missing you

Hasn't gotten any easier over the last three years.. in fact.. just when I thought it had, we hit the 50 day mark and I realize after a skype -the third one in 50 days- call that I'm not immune and my heart hurts badly. 

When this deployment started things seemed weird, I could go about my regular schedule and sort of continue on the same sleep pattern. I missed you, but the gut wrenching feeling was gone, I know this is our last "forced" deployment.. any others will be by volunteer.. granted only if you make this new job. I had Bru, my days are full and if anything I can't find the time to sit and actually write you a decent letter. Then tonight.. I'm sitting here talking on twitter to some awesome ladies, getting my hopes up to see your face and you say those dreaded words "comms blackout" on email and I just.. feel empty, my heart sinks and I'm sad. I truly thought I'd see your face! But thank whoever decided to hold off, because for 30 minutes I could stare at your blue eyes and only make jokes and talk about training options for Bru, it was like you were here... and then you had to go to work and we had to say bye. No matter how silly we were, how serious or anything, goodbyes suck. I find myself sitting at the computer being talked at by our puppy and just wishing that you were here.. that you weren't there and that we could actually live our lives without some interruption from the military. I wish you'd gotten out at times like this, I wish we'd moved to Oregon and just.. been normal. 

Everyday you're gone is one more day I add onto the list of things I want back.. things that I wont get back. Anniversaries, birthdays and kisses. The laughter that used to fill our home and chaos, this stuff is all gone, every time you leave.. and despite my sunny disposition, I can't help but be jealous of every person who doesn't deal with this and gets to lay next to their loved one every night... but jealousy is bad and I'm not about to be petty. 

I love you, A. 

-Acacia