Where'd ya go?

So it's been awhile, again. I know this isn't very surprising, but I have made a goal to blog more and to take advantage of this being one of my creative outlets. This last year had been an interesting one where I just had to deal with a lot of stress. 
I guess I should start with what the heck has been going on the last few months. I got a seasonal promotion at work that went bust because of a lack of permanent positions. Between then and now I went home for the first time in almost 7 years, but I'll dedicate a post to that in a few weeks. When I came home my apartment was trashed. I mean there was trash, dirty dishes, clothing and just... ugh... so many things. I know you're all wondering why, well I'd asked Mike to move in repeatedly since August because he didn't have a bed or a place to live.. he also didn't really have the funds to do anything. I felt bad and I made a bad decision. I broke up with him and it was nice.. it felt like we were able to be friends. 
Around this time I started to hang out with my co-workers more, we had a weekly dinner at a local place called Rhombus Guys (delicious) where we would draw inappropriate things on the table and just hang out. It was after our first dinner that Eric and I decided to not go our separate ways and hang out for the rest of the night (11/28). After a fun night of talking and listening to music while driving all over the Grand Forks I went home where I thought about Eric, a lot. We have a lot in common and I just kind of sat around for the next week doing my hair, wearing makeup and enjoying the crush that I had discovered. I didn't realize that Eric was in the same boat -we had one thing that we didn't see eye-to-eye on- and the next weekend when we all went out to dinner our mutual friend Amy kept asking why we wouldn't just "date" among other ideas that she had for me. But when they all left for the night Eric and I went around and chatted about our wants in life, what we want to do, where to go etc... and it was around 530 in the morning that we decided that we were a "thing" now and, I quote, "this is happening, huh?" 
So on 12/6/14 Eric and I decided to date.. and for the last month + has been pretty freaking amazing. But now I'll leave you with a pretty sweet picture and the promise to post more in the very near future!

PS this is us at a UND (Sioux) game last night (1/9/15) where I actually watched, and enjoyed with my sweet hunky man. 

Where do you go from here?

For four years I spent bettering myself, but supporting someone else at the same time. Investing more and more of myself into them every. single. year and to have it all come "crashing down" in a sense.

It'd been over for awhile, but I'm stubborn and will fight for something I believe in till there's absolutely nothing left to fight for.

To literally have someone tell you they didn't take it as seriously or that you aren't that "smart, beautiful and strong woman" they saw themselves with... wow kinda hit to the core, but I kept trucking, thinking "we just need time" but then... time happened and I was the only one fighting anymore.. so I gave up.
I continued to be told what I'm doing in life is wrong... and how I was raised, and where I'm going and my lack of education and blah blah blah and eventually... I woke up and said
"I'm over you"
Yeah, you know.. it probably stung for someone who thought -and I thought- I would be hung up on for awhile to just be told that I'm over it. You know what it took? A moment of weakness on his part saying "I'm not sure I am right about breaking up" ... giving me that glimmer of hope, but then turning around and saying "the only reason I said that is cause I don't like to see you sad"
I had no idea how fast my heart and brain could shut someone out until that moment... it took about 30 seconds.
So while I may have stood up for him in the past, made excuses for his behavior towards me and the actions he took by belittling me and making me feel like I was inferior.. I wont do that anymore.. and I wont repeat this cycle.. for whatever reason I've found the guys who are oh so incredibly sweet, but then catch you of guard with mean words and actions... I'm over it.
SO where do I go from here?
I go someone awesome.


**that awesome place will probably be oregon**