Unsteady Ground

Our church is doing an area on Journey's which we're going through the book of John..

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This series couldn't have come at a better time. I'm going through a new season, I'm feeling my heart torn into multiple different ways.. and as much as I want to be with Jesus I see myself clinging to what is here, what I can physically grasp to. 

I am working towards letting go. 

I'm working on having nothing: Jesus+Nothing=Everything 

I am scared of moving, to be completely honest I'm scared of how A and I will turn out. I find myself praying for us daily, I find myself thrown into a state of depression which becomes scarily clear to those around me before myself. 

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I'm on unsteady ground. I am not sure where my future will lead, but I am sure that I'm starting to cling more to my Father than to anything else.. which in itself is scary. 

I am looking at getting that tattoo, I was thinking about how my pastors wife said "YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE!" and that verse makes me feel like I'm not, I was not and HE LOVES ME! 

I have a torn life right now, and I'd appreciate prayers for it.. 

Time moves swiftly

Seriously. 

I picked A up from his squadron... about two months ago and he leaves again for his new job (YAY!) training in March. Its a little bittersweet for me, I'm not going to speak for him. We were sitting there thinking about how we can spend more time together -hi there full time job, photography AND gym - and we came to the conclusion that we really should look at me moving with him. I've been pretty steadfast in saying no, but then we calculated out the actual time we've spent together in three years.. subtract 3 deployments (1.5 year(s) then about 3-4 TDYs during that six month "down time" and also in some other schools that he's done, vacations to his parents, which unfortunately I don't always get to go on.. we've been together for about six months. Yeah. So to all those pushing us to get married or for him to "man up" maybe take a look at it from our side? 

So this is my semi-kinda informal way of saying that A & I will be moving to his next duty station together! 

Any ways, some awesome big things happened for myself, well and A.. I bought a new car -can't remember if I told you guys.. - its a red 2005 corolla named Lola -thank you Vicky!- and I just shot the most adorable maternity session, but am waiting for baby E to make his arrival to write about it -any day now baby!!- I've made it to being the #2 spot on my team at work, the person in front of me only has about 200 calls on me.. so I'll get there. 

Oh I've found She Reads Truth which is an AMAZING community of women in Christ! Seriously, this last devotional we did was AH-MAY-ZING called Fresh Start... I was able to lay it all out there, not be judged and just revel in the fact that God chose to save me, of all people, and that I need to scream this from the roof tops!! But for realsies, check them out, even if you just want to know more about God, about the Bible.. check them out :) but be prepared to have all of yourself changed by His awesome word. 

Well, I suppose I should run off to work now, its insane how time flies in the morning hour. I will be blogging on a more regular basis now that I have my schedule back on track.

-Acacia