Living for Him

So.. lets talk faith, lets get down to the nitty gritty of faith.. 

So I am Christian, this meaning I follow Christ and fully believe He died for me. 

Do I always live up to the sacrifice He made? Nope, not even close.

Do I constantly mess up and have to ask for forgiveness? Yes, all.the.time 

So what exactly is the nitty gritty? 

...coming to terms with the fact that I slipped into my old ways

drinking, cursing, no modesty and yes... being the ultimate sinner, living a life that Christ wouldn't like. 

Boom, there I was the other day (lets say December when Jessica came home) and here is my beautiful friend, giving her all to Christ and letting Him take her sins, take her hurt and just being overjoyed with the fact that HE IS! I start thinking. Contemplating. Praying. 

These prayers led me to Fresh Start.

Fresh Start led me to coming clean about sins, feeling like He was calling me and tugging on my heart.. 

and that led to me wanting to worship HIM to constantly praise HIM and to live my life for HIM. 

weird. 

Why? Because my family looks "down" (it seems that way to me, my family has never really been on board with my faith) on it.

A is almost there, but questions it 

and my past should keep me from Him, but it doesn't. 

So here I am, opening myself up for ridicule, for those who say "she's at it again" that my faith is shallow, like myself, and that I'm doing this for the attention. But I truly feel that I am turning a page, beginning anew and wouldn't be able to do that without His grace & mercy. 

But if anyone would like to help along the way, be my friend or sister in Christ, please ... don't hesitate. I am unable to go to my church, hopefully that changes soon! but I am always up for fellowship and if you're in Washington we should meet up for coffee.. because I need friends with similar faith and that's what I feel is important on this road. 

-Acacia 

Lifestyle

My lifestyle is sorta weird, I'm not a spouse to an airman, I am just the girlfriend... I don't want my blog to be all military since it is my blog... but then I run across the fact that I am pretty freaking boring. I work, take care of Bru and the house and wait for my man to come home. I daydream at work about how it'll be to hold him in my arms again, and at the same time I kick butt and realize that my parents raised me right i.e. not lazy. 

After so long with someone whose job is so "high speed" you start to get tired of it, I'm tired of missing my best friend and of the SAT phone cutting off. I am tired of this lifestyle. I want a home, kids, decent sized yard and a detached barn style garage for portraits.. I want the mundaneness of A coming home day after day, tired and only wanting to hang out with the dog. I want to actually have time to plan out my life more than a month or week in advance..

I am proud of A, don't get me wrong, but A isn't everything.. do you know how hard it I just want to tell people he works in an office doing adjustments or something equally boring?? Everyday. I stopped even bringing up the fact that he's in the military, when people ask I always get the same question "so has he killed anyone?" Uh.. none of your business? The second someone finds out he's military its like my accomplishments don't matter, just that I've stood by his side.. well guess what, it isn't that hard to be there for someone, it probably harder on him to be there for me, than the other way around. In the last few years I've discovered the importance of being proud, but in a quiet manner. I no longer flaunt his job, his successes or the things that truly don't matter to him, instead I talk about him as a person. He's more than a uniform and this lifestyle is just a temporary speed bump in what we really want. 

Like I said, I am proud, A is my best friend and he does so much for this country by just being overseas.. without him someone else would have to be there.. and while it sucks, I would rather it be him than the guy with kids. But this "lifestyle" isn't ours, and the military can keep it...along with the rest of the crap we don't care about. 

-Acacia