Holiday Recap

So my holidays were kind of boring, one may even say a tad depressing, buuuut I enjoyed them! First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who participated in the snowflake swap, you guys made this amazing and I was blown away with seeing all the goodies.. I however, am a terrible blogger and while I've been sick have left taking pictures and such to the birds. BUT I did get an adorable box full of goodies including hairties -because I always lose them! - and the cutest little penguin bubble bath (love) hooray! 

Now you read before that I was sick, that I was, but those pictures from above are basically the only "holiday" type pictures I have. 

So as far as my holiday, the first half of Christmas was spent in urgent care where the doc was like "your lungs sound gross" to which I was all "oh good!" he mandated 2 days off which I was extremely thankful for because I felt like poop. Bronchitis is a no fun way to start your holiday! So I am just kinda sitting here now.. after roommate Christmas going "wow I am lucky" I have some amazing friends and lovely people who have been great guidances to me. I got a really sweet cross made from a tree in Oregon, by a guy in Oregon.. so its pretty freakin special now. 

Also I want to just say thank you to everyone whose commented and shown lots of love for the breakup. A and I are still friends, better as that than anything and I am glad that through all of this I don't lose someone who really is apart of my odd little family. Bru will continue to be "my" dog and I will always love him, but he will stay with A. Lots of love guys! 

Belle Hiver Photography | Relogo

Long time no write, and I am really sorry about that! Life has kind of went from busy to busy to busier to ...hectic, but I'm not here to write about that -yet- I'm here to show you what I've been up to!  Most of you know I'm a photographer, but did you know that I am now a photographer whose managed to do 3 sessions in almost single and/or negative degrees?! Yeah.  Below are a few shots I've done over the last two weekends, and let me tell you.. COLD HURTS! For starters, your legs go numb and then your fingers and then you think "why am I doing this?" and then you get about a bajillion thanks from the families for bearing the cold and capturing some great moments. Worth it. 

ALSO .... Jane re-logo'd my photography! <3 aint it grand?! 

Where do you go from here?

For four years I spent bettering myself, but supporting someone else at the same time. Investing more and more of myself into them every. single. year and to have it all come "crashing down" in a sense.

It'd been over for awhile, but I'm stubborn and will fight for something I believe in till there's absolutely nothing left to fight for.

To literally have someone tell you they didn't take it as seriously or that you aren't that "smart, beautiful and strong woman" they saw themselves with... wow kinda hit to the core, but I kept trucking, thinking "we just need time" but then... time happened and I was the only one fighting anymore.. so I gave up.
I continued to be told what I'm doing in life is wrong... and how I was raised, and where I'm going and my lack of education and blah blah blah and eventually... I woke up and said
"I'm over you"
Yeah, you know.. it probably stung for someone who thought -and I thought- I would be hung up on for awhile to just be told that I'm over it. You know what it took? A moment of weakness on his part saying "I'm not sure I am right about breaking up" ... giving me that glimmer of hope, but then turning around and saying "the only reason I said that is cause I don't like to see you sad"
I had no idea how fast my heart and brain could shut someone out until that moment... it took about 30 seconds.
So while I may have stood up for him in the past, made excuses for his behavior towards me and the actions he took by belittling me and making me feel like I was inferior.. I wont do that anymore.. and I wont repeat this cycle.. for whatever reason I've found the guys who are oh so incredibly sweet, but then catch you of guard with mean words and actions... I'm over it.
SO where do I go from here?
I go someone awesome.


**that awesome place will probably be oregon**